Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
