i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
