So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
this is an emotional support booty call
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
