i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
