she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
