Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
