I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
