I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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