Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
