he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
