If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
