I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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