ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
