is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
