make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
