I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
