"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
