So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Holy shit dude........stairs
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