My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
