did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
