Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
vagina is talking i cant
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
