Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
