I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You pole danced in your parka.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
