Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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