fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
