he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
