after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
