Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
