I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
