remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
