guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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