sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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