O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
