part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
