Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
