Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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