from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
