I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
