He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
