i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
