5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
