oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
