he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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