You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We don't watch enough power rangers
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
