Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
