I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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