who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
nutella sex= disaster
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
