Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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