summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
