Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
